A few weeks ago, Zac asked me something in passing and I caught this thought before I could even finish it:

“Surely after almost five years of marriage, he’d know by now…”

But that thought, right there, is the biggest killer of romance.

Romance isn’t the unnecessary fluff of love, it’s the reflection of a commitment to growth. Romance says “yes” to the possibility of change. Romance is the expression we give each other to say, “Hey, you, I’m still so interested in discovering who you are.”

Assumption immediately cuts off romance. It uses the past as precedence and is closed to future. Assumption faces the future based on old facts. When I assume, I’m not listening, I’m not discovering, I’m not open.

We buy flowers to say, “I’m still committed to pursuing you.” We go out for dinner together to say, “I’m setting aside time to get to know you better.”

I’m humbled to say, Zac totally gets this already. Every morning, he hauls himself out of bed and turns on the coffee machine. Every morning he asks me, “Want a coffee?” and every morning I say, “Yes”.

Zac could easily assume that I want a coffee (it is the same answer. every. damn. morning) but he doesn’t assume… because he knows… sometimes I might say something different, and he’s open to that.
Now, isn’t that romantic?