I’m a survey junkie. It’s my firm belief that leadership begins with self-awareness, so any discovery about how I operate is such a buzz.

Every time I’m in a group that has done a personality test, or leadership review, or strengths test I love to see how people light up. My favourite is when they realize that what they previously considered a universal human trait is actually something special and unique to them – a strength.

The next penny is not as quick to follow, sometimes it doesn’t even drop. But the other day my husband articulated it so clearly:

 

Maybe what I expect of everyone else is what I’m called to.

 

Our familiarity with the importance of language, or innovation, or working structures, or deliverables, or compassion (or whatever your bugbear is) is so ingrained in us, that we often do subconsciously expect that most other humans should also have this basic understanding of/passion for the same thing.

We really should have realized by now (but are still shocked to discover) that the IT guy doesn’t care about the big picture. We are dumbfounded when colleagues burn relational bridges and roast marshmallows in the flames. We wonder why no one else notices that there is still boxes to tick and i’s to dot.

And we shove this Obvious Thing down and get resentful and don’t mention it and in that moment there is a danger to forget that…

Their lack is my abundance.

Their strength is my weakness.

Their oversight is my focus.

Their chore is my joy.

This mess of humanity, we fit together somehow. We’re better together.

Yes, it sounds so correct and we nod our heads. I already know that, we say, and turn right round to grumble that no one else can do the Really Easy Thing that everyone should be able to do.

 

Next time you catch yourself thinking this way, reframe it.

The expectation I put on them, is what I’m called to champion.

And go right ahead and champion the heck out of it, for your sanity and for the sake of all those around you. We’re all stronger when you do.